To Be Happy
by bxtchbaby
Summary: Anybody can live a life. But not everyone can live a life full of happiness. Bella was happy; she had a good boyfriend, good job, and good friends. But when tragedy strikes, how will she ever be able to pick up the pieces? How will she ever be happy again? AH, Graphic
1. Chapter 1

Hey! Wow I haven't been here very often let alone uploaded a story for, I don't know, 9 years? Anywho I've not been able to get this out of my head and its bothering me so I wanted to write it all out so I could finally get rid of it. Not quite sure if ill ever update again, lol, I don't even know if anyone still uses this site. Any who if not at least this story is gone and out of my head, I have literally spent the last 4.5-5 hours with these words exploding out of my brain. I proof read a bit but its too long so I didn't do it that much, but I am a decent writer so. I guess if anyone is here, feel free to read. **Trigger warning** now, it does get very graphic, plus side is this will be the only graphic chapter that I predict I will ever make, if I do make another. So yeah, ill put a warning before it gets too bad and it does go to the end of the story, so you wont even need to finish it. But any who this note is getting very long. The characters in this story do not belong to me.

Enjoy.

Chapter One: Pilot

"I'll see you guys tomorrow!" I called out to my last few co workers still cleaning up the kitchen. I heard a muffled "Bye Bella!" coming from the back of the building.

It had been a busy day of serving at the restaurant today. I had finally finished cleaning up after the last two tables. It was Wednesday, which meant it was men's night at the golf course. It was always my least favorite shift, but the tips made it tolerable. I was never a fan of big groups of people, and I personally find large groups of middle aged, drunk men completely unappealing. There was always that handful that got too drunk and lost the ability to treat women with respect. Before I could relive the events and get angry about it, I shook the thoughts out of my head and took a deep breath.

I walked down the short staircase and felt my sneakers hit the gravel, beginning the walk home. I do have a car, but since moving out to my own place it was in walking distance of my work. The warm weather and fresh air of summer are also very appealing.

Tonight, I noticed, was muggy; a storm must be coming. I tied my sweater around my waist and pulled my backpack a little tighter to my body.

I checked my watch and realized it was just after 11:30pm. I sighed. Working long hours was typical for my waitressing job, but on busy nights like these I often don't have a minute to take a break or even sit down for a snack. My shift started at about 2:30pm so I missed dinner; as if on queue my stomach growled. I smiled and laughed softly to myself, looks like it's snack time when I get home.

Since I got off so late, I missed my boyfriend. I was supposed to be off around 10 but I can't leave until my customers leave. I had to shoot him a text letting him know I needed a rain check for tomorrow, and to come over then.

Edward Cullen. I sighed thoughtfully and couldn't help the light smile that came over my face. I loved that man with every fiber in my being. As good as boyfriends come, he was fantastic and I probably couldn't find better even if I tried. My stomach fluttered and I pulled out my phone.

 _Just got off work, heading home now. See you tomorrow luv_

I slipped my phone into my pocket and felt something on hit the tip of my nose.

 _Hmm, must be starting to rain._ I thought to myself and started to pick up the pace. There was a vibration in my back pocket, so I pulled my phone out expecting a text from Edward. I wasn't disappointed.

 _Text me when you're home babe. Be safe. Love you_

I smiled again and went to reply but two more drops of water fell onto my phone screen, so I wiped it off on my sweater and put it into my backpack pocket to keep it from getting damaged. The road in front of me started to light up and I turned my head to check behind me and noticed a car with their headlights turned on. I moved over to the edge of the parking lot and kept walking.

 _Must be the last of the customers finally ready to leave._

I kept my eyes on the large garbage bins in front of me, and as I got closer to the end of the parking lot, I wished I had just driven myself today; I wasn't in the mood to walk.

The only light was the light coming from the headlights, as at this far end of the parking lot there weren't any street lamps.

I heard gravel crunching and looked back to notice the car rolling forward. A feeling of uneasiness came over me, but I tried to shrug it off. I've made this walk home multiple times a week so what makes tonight any different, other than the light rain?

I was almost at the garbage bins when suddenly the car was beside me. My head shot to the right and I watched as it slowed, and the tinted passenger window rolled down.

"Need a lift lady?" The passenger who I estimated was about forty years old asked me. The slurring of his words did not go unnoticed and only made my unease grow.

"No thanks." I said curtly and turned my eyes back to the front and continued walking.

"Hey!" Someone yelled from the back of the blue SUV. "You were our waitress tonight. I would recognize your pretty face anywhere." The back window unrolled and a younger man in his thirties popped out.

Just my luck. I recognized both these men as the ones from table twelve. There was another man with them, the driver. He had a pair of sunglasses over his eyes, just like he did in the restaurant. Who wears sunglasses inside, let alone driving in the dark?

"Yeah, that was me." I said. There was a lump in the back of my throat and I just couldn't shake it no matter how calm I tried to stay.

Both passengers finally looked away from me and to each other and from the corner of my eye I still noticed how the glance seemed to solidify a thought they both had but didn't dare to say out loud. I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket and the passenger glanced back at me.

"That your boyfriend?" He asked loudly. I cringed but nodded my head. The scent of beer was pouring out the window and I did my best to keep my nausea at bay.

"Yes, I'm on my way to meet him right now." I said forcefully, hoping that would sway them to leave me alone. The man in the back laughed loudly and stuck his hand out the window and slapped my backpack. I jumped. I don't think that's what he was aiming for. "Of course, you have a boyfriend, with an ass like that there's no way you don't." The two passengers laughed again, and I turned to face them. "Don't touch me!" I exclaimed loudly. The man in the driver's seat remained expressionless but the other two got angry.

"Hey princess watch what you do with that mouth or I will for you!" He exclaimed. "You have no right to talk to us that way." His eyes narrowed and his face got a sinister look but before he had the chance to say anything else my hand flew to my backpack and I had caller display on. "If you don't leave me alone right now, I will call the police. Leave now!" I yelled, my heart was racing a million miles a minute but I was trying so hard to keep my shaking to a minimum and hide my fear.

The passengers face went hard but he held his hands up as if in surrender. "Hey now, calm down girl, we were just leaving."

"Go, now." I said sternly. My breathing was getting heavier.

"Drive." I head the passenger say to the driver. The car sped up, shooting rocks onto the front of my legs. I cursed myself for wearing shorts today.

As the car sped off, I saw the silhouette of the third passenger stick out the window and yell back at me. "You won't get off talking to me like that this easily!" They peeled off and the second they went around the corner I took off, my legs shaking. I needed to take out my phone and call Edward, call anyone. I was scared and I knew he would make me feel safe.

I ran for about five blocks until I was nearly home and then I finally slowed my pace. Checking back behind me to make sure I was alone, I stopped walking and bent forward, resting my hands on my knees. The rain was starting to really come down and I cold and exhausted and breathless. Only three more blocks to go.

The rustling of bushes beside me caused me to yelp and I sprinted off immediately without a second thought. I gasped for breath and ran the last three blocks until I was finally home. I glared at my car parked in the driveway, knowing that it was my own bad decision making that led to this outcome.

I ran up the porch skipping two stairs at a time and was finally covered by the roof of my house from the rain. I pulled my backpack off my shoulders and opened it quickly, digging through the contents desperate for my keys. I was shaking and my fingers were so cold it was hard to move them.

At the sound of a vehicle approaching I froze in my tracks and turned around. The rain was coming down so hard I could barely make out the vehicle, but they were driving by too slow for me to be comfortable. My focus was back on my backpack and I finally located my keys. I brought them to the door and tried to put the key in. But with my hands as shaky as they were, I dropped them back on the wooden porch floor.

"Shit!" I exclaimed loudly and looked back behind me to see the vehicle had stopped moving. A chill went down my spine and it wasn't from the rain. I grabbed my keys and luckily, I was able to get it in first try, swiftly unlocking the door and throwing it open. I grabbed my bag and jumped through the doorframe. Slamming the door behind me. I peeked out the closed blinds on my front window and watched the car accelerate forward again.

"Fuck." I breathed and turned back around, pushing my soaked bag to the side and leaning against the door.

I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to calm my breathing down from both the incident as well as my run home. After a few minutes I almost had my heart rate back to normal, and I opened my eyes again, looking down at my shoes. I groaned. My once white shoes were now a gross brown from running on the gravel in the rain and they were soaked. I ruined them.

I kicked them off as well as stripped off my shorts, sweater and t-shirt. I picked up my shoes and headed into the kitchen, flicking on a light as I went.

I tossed my shoes in the garbage and went towards the laundry room, placing my soaking wet clothes in the dryer and turning it on. As I walked back through my house, I chanced another look out the window and saw the roads were clear.

"Thank god." I breathed to myself. What a night. I walked toward the hallway, phone in hand and went into the washroom. My phone was a little damp, so I wiped it off and turned towards the mirror.

I let out a breathy laugh at my appearance. My cheeks were flushed and my hair was absolutely drenched, sticking to my head and shoulders. I turned my phone on and noticed the text I missed from Edward, shuddering again at the events from tonight.

 _You alive?_

I laughed and instead of messaging him back I hit the call button. Anxiously waiting for him to pick up I turned on the shower, allowing it to heat up to the right temperature. I was so cold.

"Hey babe." My eyes closed with instant relief at hearing his voice, "Hi baby." My voice trembled a little, I didn't realize how cold I was until I heard myself try to speak.

"Are you just getting home? The weather is horrible. I hope you at least drove to work tonight, it's pouring." I pursed my lips. "Unfortunately for me, I walked today, so I got to feel the full extent of the rain." "Fuck." He cursed. "You should have called me, I would have picked you up!"

"I know I know. But it was clear when I left and didn't start raining until shortly after. Otherwise I would have." I told him. And I probably would have been home sooner if I hadn't been stopped by those men. Thinking of them caused my breathing to pick up and it didn't go unnoticed by Edward. "Are you okay?" He asked, genuine concern lacing his voice. "Yeah I'm okay, you know men's night at the restaurant is never my favorite night." I could practically hear him frown over the phone. "What happened?"

I paused, wondering if I should tell him. Telling him would only worry him and its over now so there's no reason for that.

"Bella?" he pressed.

I exhaled. "Nothing more than usual, just gross old men who make annoying comments and drink too much beer." I took a breath and replied, "I'm sorry babe, do you need me to come to work with you next time and kick their asses?" We both laughed, "I would say yes, but then I may also lose my job." "Yeah, maybe not the best idea." I grinned.

Looking up I realized I still had the shower running, but it was heating up the bathroom, so I didn't mind too much. "I wish you were here." I said to him softly, I didn't want to be alone tonight. "Do you want me to come over?" He asked immediately and I could hear the concern in his voice. I sighed again, "No, no. The weather is terrible, and I don't want to risk you getting into an accident. Just come over tomorrow morning and I'll make us some breakfast."

"You don't work tomorrow, right?" He questioned. "Nope. So come over as soon as you wake up and we can hang out all day. But I've left the shower water running for too long now so I really should hop in before I waste all my hot water." He chuckled, "Okay babe. Ill see you tomorrow, get a good sleep okay? I love you."

I felt my heart warm, "Say it again." I replied softly. I heard him smile. "I love you Isabella, always." I smiled.

"I love you too Edward. I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams my love."

"Sweet dreams."

I waited on the phone until he hung up and put my phone back on the counter. I tested the temperature of the water again, and once satisfied, took off my bra and underwear and hopped in. I relaxed at the temperature of the water and let it wash away my stress for the day.

I took my time in the shower, enjoying the feel of it on my skin. Eventually I turned off the tap and stepped out, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around myself. I grabbed my moisturizer and applied it generously over my face.

Stepping out of the steamy room, I walked into the cool hallway, heading across the hall to my room.

I felt a breeze and froze in place; the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up. I stopped walking and slowly lifted my head to chance a look at the front door. It was open. I held my breath as I stared into the darkness, not able to see anything past the pouring rain. I slowly walked towards the door, eyes never moving away from it. Suddenly I noticed my keys. Still sticking out of the lock. _Fuck sakes._ I must have forgotten to take them out in my rush to get inside.

I shook my head to remove other thoughts and rushed towards the door, grabbing my keys and putting them on the table on my porch. I grabbed the doorknob and looking outside one more time, not seeing anything; I closed the door, making sure to securely lock and latch it.

I walked back towards my room, turning the kitchen light off as I left.

I entered my room and closed the door behind me. Flicking the light on, I finished drying off and let my towel fall to the floor, grabbing some pajama shorts and a comfortable t shirt to sleep in. As I sat on the edge of my bed, my stomach growled. I forgot to eat!

I groaned and stood back up, feeling so exhausted but knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep if I was hungry. I open my bedroom door and walked into the kitchen, freezing in my steps.

The light was on.

I know I turned it off. I distinctly remember turning it off. My heart began to beat faster as I slowly made my way into the kitchen.

My house was one story, with the main area of it being open concept. The kitchen and living room were attached and you could see one end to the other. My laundry room was through a door off the kitchen, random spot, I know but I had no complaints. The hallway that I was just exiting had access to both my room, the bathroom as well as a spare room. It was small but it was my home. My safe place.

I moved quickly to the corner of my kitchen beside the laundry room. I grabbed a knife out of the drawer and tried not to panic while I desperately thought of where I left my phone.

 _The washroom._

I started to walk slowly towards the hallway but was stopped dead in my tracks when two men walked out from behind the corner of it.

I shrieked and jumped back towards the kitchen, immediately recognizing them from the car earlier this evening.

"Get out!" I screamed. My hands were trembling so hard I wasn't sure how much longer I could grasp onto this knife.

"Now! Get out now or I'm calling the police!" I was on the verge of tears and I'm sure I didn't look very intimidating with my voice shaking so hard.

One of the men chuckled and the other smiled. "You're going to call the police, hmm? With what phone? So much for that boyfriend of yours, I haven't seen anyone else around tonight for miles." He lifted his arm up from beside him and my eyes zoomed in on my phone in his hands. _Fuck. FUCK._

"You give that to me right now, or else."

The passenger laughed, and I shivered. Suddenly he bolted towards me, but I reacted quickly, slashing the knife in front of me and colliding with his arm. He let out a gasp of pain. "Fuck! You little bitch. You're going to regret that. Mike!"

Having no time to react, a man burst out of the laundry room behind me, wrapping one hand around my neck and grabbing my hand that held the knife with his other. He pulled my body close to his and I was no longer able to breathe, he was pressing down too hard. I tried to scream but nothing could come out, I couldn't get any air. He used his other hand to bend my wrist back as hard as he could until the knife fell from my grasp and onto the floor. My wrist cracked but I couldn't do anything but cry and choke.

The other two men walked towards us and I started kicking at the man behind me, the tears flowing freely now. My legs couldn't do any damage at the angle I was being held and I could only watch as the passenger reached down to grab the knife off the floor.

My vision was getting blurry as the grip on my throat still wasn't loosened, and I was fighting with everything I had in me to get a breath.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the man holding it loosened enough for me to take in a breath and as I took a deep breath to scream, my body couldn't handle it and I started to choke and cough. It hurt so bad I thought I might throw up.

"You can scream. No one will hear you." Whispered the man behind me and my body felt like it was on fire. My coughing finally slowed and as I took a deep breath and got ready to scream again the knife was pressed to my throat and I was frozen. I could feel the cool metal of the blade pressing into my skin, not enough to break the skin but enough that I was terrified in fear.

"He said no screaming, princess." The man sneered.

I started sobbing. "Please don't do this. If you go now, I promise I won't tell anyone anything just please don't hurt me. I'm begging you." I could barely get the words out; my throat was in so much pain.

The passenger smirked, slowly dragging the knife across my throat and my body trembled under his touch. "What do you think Tom?" He asked the man who I remembered was in the backseat. "Should we stay or should we go?"

I desperately looked towards Tom, my vision so full of tears I could barely see him.

His face remained a cold and hard expression. "I think I told this bitch she couldn't get away with talking to me like that, and I plan to fulfill my promise to her." I choked and started sobbing again, and the knife was handed over to Mike, the man holding me. He kept one arm wrapped tightly around my waist and put the knife back over my throat.

"Sounds good to me." Mike threatened. Tom and the other man stepped to the side and Mike began walking forward while holding me. I tried to put my feet in the floor and stop him from moving me but my small 5'4 frame was no match for his large 6'2 demeanor. All the men towered over me and there was no possible way I could fight them off. But I was going to try like hell with everything in me.

He walked twenty feet until we reached the center of the living room and he threw me down onto the floor, my small body slamming into the coffee table. I tried to catch myself by putting my hands out in front of my but let out a shriek of pain after realizing he must have broken my wrist, and I had just put all my weight onto it. My ribs were throbbing from hitting the coffee table and I rolled over in pain trying to make myself as small as possible while holding my broken wrist.

I heard a loud noise and looked up to see the coffee table being shoved out of the way against the tv, and all that were on either side of me were two sofas. I desperately looked around for a weapon, anything I could use as a weapon to protect myself when my eyes landed on the lamp to my right. I jumped up and went to grab it when I felt my hair being pulled back.

I screamed and was thrown back onto the ground, my head slamming onto the hardwood and the wind knocked out of me. Disoriented I tried to look around me when I felt a fist go into my stomach. It was so forceful that I couldn't even breathe, my body instantly reacting, and I started dry heaving, nothing in my stomach. My eyes were watering and I tried to scream but suddenly someone was on top of me, choking me once again. I shot my hands up to the ones around my throat, but I was no match for his strength.

The pressure released and as I inhaled, I heard a sharp slap, and my face shot to the right. My cheek was burning and my lip bleeding into my mouth. I struggled to catch a good breath as I felt my body being pulled down a foot towards my attacker and then other set of hands grabbed mine and pinned them tightly above my head to the floor.

 ***Trigger Warning: Graphic details below***

I tried to kick my legs but I was being straddled by Mike. Tom handed him a strip of duct tape and he proceeded to press it tightly over my mouth, effectively removing my ability to scream or call for help. He leaned back and looked down at me appreciatively, smiling at the sight he saw below.

I struggled and writhed but it was no use. The man holding both my wrists was no match for me and I could barely breath let alone move with Mike sitting on top of me. My loose t shirt had ridden up during this struggle and Mike moved him hands down to rest on my hips. I let out a muffle scream and they all laughed.

I felt like I was going to explode with fear when Tom handed Mike the knife I originally tried to use on them. He brought it directly to my exposed skin on my stomach and held it perpendicular, so it was aiming right into me. I sobbed and closed my eyes, terrified of what was to come next. He slowly began to drag the knife upward, and my body trembled beneath his touch. He took hold of my shirt and slowly began to cut it in half. I kicked again but I could barely raise my legs with him on top of me.

Once my shirt was cut off he brushed it to the side, exposing my breasts. I tried desperately to turn to the side but I couldn't budge. I fought against the hands pinning mine but with my broken wrist it hurt so much more and it was useless. Mike brought his hands up to my breasts and started to feel them. Moving his mouth down and sucking on my nipple I screamed as loud as I could.

I felt a sharp pain and tried to push his face off me when I realized he had bit down on my nipple and wouldn't let go. I screamed and writhed but it only made him bit down more. He finally released it and his hand was back up at my throat, choking me while his face went to my other breast. He left hand started sliding down my stomach and he raised himself off me just an inch and slipped his hand down my shorts. With the movement of his body I finally had a small amount of leeway and bucked my hips to try and remove his hand from me.

It only caused his hand to move faster and slide between me, entering my body. I screamed so hard into the tape I thought my face was going to burst. It was just one finger at first, and then he added another and another and I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I could barely breathe and my chest felt like it was going to burst at the violation I was going through. He thrust his fingers dry inside me repeatedly and the pain was unbearable.

After what felt like forever he pulled his hands from my pants and I cried in relief. His face came off my chest and he looked toward the men he was with.

"I think we should take this to the bedroom, what do you guys think?" He sneered.

I shook my head forcefully as Mike stood. The other man was still holding my wrists when Mike and Tom went for one leg each. I kicked as hard as I could and managed to land on blow right in Mike's stomach, effectively winding him. He doubled over and I got another one to his face. Tom dodged around my legs are winded his arm back, aiming his fist at my head.

The force of the blow caused stars to appear in my eyes and I lost all the ability to move my body. I couldn't see, everything was black and in that moment I felt hands grabbing both my legs and my body being lifted from the floor. My wrist protested at the strain being placed on it and I sobbed.

It only took a few seconds until I felt my body being placed on the bed and I shot up as quick as I could. But Tom delivered another blow to my rib, the pain felt unbearable. My ribs were throbbing and I was sure one was broken. I was straddled again and so many hands were on my body at once. Both my hands and an ankle were being taped to my four-poster bed. I kicked as someone reached for my one free ankle, but it was no use, I was no match for any of them.

As all the hands left my extremities, I realized just how in trouble I was. I was spread eagle on my bed and couldn't find an inch to budge in my restraints. I gasped in pain as the tape was ripped from my lips and I screamed. I felt a hand slap my face and I whimpered.

"Please stop, oh god, I'm begging you please." I sobbed heavily, my ribs throbbing in pain at every word.

"Aw princess, we are just getting started." I heaved as the knife was brought back and my last pieces of clothing were removed. I struggled with all my might, my limbs growing exhausted from the ordeal. Mike cut off my shorts, and my underwear followed shortly after. I was officially fully naked and I felt sick to my stomach.

Mike stood up off me and I watched in terror as he removed his shirt, making eye contact with me the whole time. He wasted no time taking off his belt and dropping it to the floor. He pulled his pants down and I looked away, ashamed at what was about to happen to me. I could barely fight him of when he straddled me again and lined himself up at my entrance. I sobbed again and he choked me, reaching his other hand up to my breast and gripping it so tightly it hurt. He used pressure to force my head from the side to look up at him and I cried.

"Please Mike please don't do this oh god please."

And with that, he smiled and slammed himself into me. The pain was hard, sharp and excruciating. I tried to scream but it was suffocated when he pressed his hand firmly on my throat. He thrust himself in and out of my body as roughly as he could. He brought his face to mine and started kissing me. "Bite me and I'll kill you." he threatened.

He entered his tongue inside my mouth while he continued to thrust in and out. The pain was excruciating, and I tried to move my mouth away from his but his hand holding my throat kept it in place. I felt like I was going to die. I wanted this so badly to all be a bad dream and I needed to wake up and be safe in Edwards arms. With the thought of Edward, I started sobbing. How would he ever be able to look at me again.

I was brought out of my thoughts when he bit down on my breast, drawing blood.

"Ow! Please stop oh god that hurts!" I cried and cried as his mouth kept assaulting my breasts, and suddenly the searing pain was on my nipple. I couldn't handle the pain on my breasts and the pain radiating so deeply inside me. He thrusted harder and faster I thought my body was going to split into two. He nibbled with his teeth on my nipple and a shudder racked me.

He groaned and I cried as I realized he was about to come. "Fuck yes princess you feel so good, so tight. I'm going to come inside you baby." I screamed and he pushed harder again with so much force there was no way I wasn't bleeding. He bit my nipple again, drawing blood and slamming into me one last time and I felt him come inside me. I struggled and tried in vain to move him out of me, but I couldn't budge. I felt him shudder while he released himself inside me and he groaned again. "Fuck yes baby take it all in, just like that."

 ***Trigger Warning Over***

My body collapsed with exhaustion and I sobbed. Sobbed for my body, my life, for this horrible situation that I couldn't get myself out of, and for Edward. I don't know how I would ever come back from this, how we could ever come back from this. I cried because I didn't even know if there would be an 'after' from this; if I would make it out of this alive.

I felt the pressure on top of me disappear. I closed my eyes and prayed for this to be over. I couldn't do this anymore. I wasn't strong enough for anything else.

I whimpered, "Please go, please I can't do this anymore please just let me go." My body wracked with sobs and I closed my eyes, praying for this nightmare to end.

I flinched when I felt a hand caress my face. My eyes shot open and I tried to lean away from the attacker. My heart broke when I saw the other two men both taking their clothes off. I let out a gut-wrenching scream. "Fuck! Someone help me, oh god please! Help me!"

Everything went dark when the fist connected with my face again, and again. I didn't understand why this was happening to me. "Why me?" I cried out painfully, my voice barely above a whisper. I started choking and turned my head to the side, spitting blood out of my mouth. I could feel myself fading in and out of consciousness. I felt sharp pain on my ribs. I think I was hit again, but I could barely feel it.

There was pressure on top of me again. "Round two?" I heard Tom laugh as I silently cried. I had no strength left and whatever I did have was fading quick. "Please," I whimpered, coughing on my own blood, "please let me go." I heard a menacing chuckle.

"I told you you wouldn't get away with this princess, you didn't believe me? Well then I guess that's your own fault. Let's see if your boyfriend can still love you after this." And with that he entered me, but I didn't have time to react. My body couldn't take anymore of it, and everything went black.

And there we have it. A long ass chapter because I couldn't figure out how to break it up into pieces. Its like 17 pages on word but not one area I know how to pause at. Yeah I know this was graphic as hell so hopefully if its too much for you you were able to skip over the trigger warning. Let me know, questions, comments or concerns I don't really do much so im interested in any feedback, positive or negative.

Xx take care


	2. Chapter 2

So, I hadn't had much desire to continue the story, but tonight I'm feeling inspired. I'm thinking I'd like to continue it until the end, but my attention span isn't very high so I may feel differently tomorrow. Either way, I had created a rough guideline for the story until about chapter 8, so I guess that's saying something. I'm not too sure if I like the guideline I have but I want to make sure I do the story right! I have done a little bit of research for the upcoming chapters and I think part of what has me unsure on whether I want to continue is having to write the aftermath and healing process. So, I'll be taking my time and doing some research because I do want to do it justice. It's not a story I'll be taking lightly. Any who, this is a very long authors note but I wanted to explain to you where my head is right now. Author notes will be getting shorter after this! 😊 Without further ado…

Chapter 2: Comatose

EPOV

 _One week after the attack_

"Hey Edward." I was woken from my sleep by the voice of my sister Alice. "Alice, when did you get here?" I asked groggily. I didn't feel rested at all.

"Jazz and I got here about an hour ago, but we didn't want to wake you; you could use the rest. We went and got some coffee." I noticed the tray of coffee cups she was holding then, and she reached her hand out to give me one. "Thank you." I said softly.

"No changes?" Jasper asked me. I turned my head and looked over at my love, my heart breaking all over again as I layed my eyes upon her broken body. "No," I sighed, trying to keep my tears at bay. "Carlisle and the doctors have agreed that it's time to take her out of the medically induced coma. I'm not sure how long it will take for her to wake up. Could be hours or even days if her body isn't ready."

Jasper took the chair across from me while Alice sat on the arm of it. She reached over and squeezed my shoulder, then took my hand. "She's going to be okay, she's strong. Bella will make it through this." I took a deep breath. "I know Alice, but I'm scared for her. Waking up isn't going to be easy, she may wish she never had."

I winced as I remembered the state I found her in. Taking a sip of my coffee, I embraced the burn of the hot liquid, allowing it to distract me from my own thoughts.

"Are Emmett and Rose coming by today?" I asked Jasper. Not a day had gone by since they heard of the attack that they hadn't been by Bella's side, giving her all the love and support they could, even though she remained unconscious. We were all family, if not by blood than by choice, so the pain of the attack lingered deeply in all of us.

"Yeah, I think they will be by shortly after lunch. Since Carlisle is going to be trying to wean her out of the coma today I know everyone wants to be here waiting for when she wakes up." Jasper replied. As if on queue Carlisle walked through the door.

"Alice, Jasper, I'm glad you are both here." Carlisle walked over to the pair and gave them each a hug. "Son, how are you doing?" Carlisle questioned me with concern lacing his voice. "As well as can be expected giving the circumstances I guess." I shrugged. He nodded to himself as if pleased with my response.

"So, Dad, what's the plan? Are you going to try waking her up today?" Alice questioned, her voice nervous.

Carlisle nodded, and began to explain the process. "Bella's injuries appear to be healing well physically, mentally, we all know that work has yet to be started. I have discussed with the other doctors on Bella's case and we have all come to the agreement that she seems to be healing at an appropriate pace and we should begin to wake her up. I'll start by removing her breathing tube, and if all goes well and she is able to breathe on her own, I will continue weaning her off the sedative; keep in mind her body has been through a lot and it may take a few hours for her to wake up." Carlisle walked over to Bella's arm and started fiddling with her IV's. I moved to the chair by her side and sat down, grabbing her unoccupied hand and holding it tightly in my own.

"Are you ready?" Carlisle asked, and we all solemnly nodded.

It had been about four hours since the removal of Bella's breathing tube and Carlisle had stopped the sedation, the rest was up to Bella.

I felt nauseas; scared for her to wake up but equally as scared for her not to. Rosalie and Emmett had arrived about an hour ago, bringing coffee and bagels with them. My stomach was in knots, eating felt impossible. Carlisle had come back every hour or so to check on Bella's vitals, and so far she was doing okay.

The television was playing in the background, but nobody was paying attention, so it was just background noise. The air was tense, no one sure of what to say; nothing could be said that would make the situation better.

I hadn't moved from my spot beside Bella for the last few hours. My hand gripped her hand as I stared longingly at her face. It wasn't the face I recognized, but it was the face I loved.

She had a bandage wrapped around her head, thankfully she hadn't needed any brain surgery, but the damage to the outside was quite severe. She had a black eye that probably couldn't open even if she was awake, and her cheek had a large gash that followed her cheekbone. Her lip was split and I did my best not to even look at her neck, which though it was better than it looked five days ago, was still dark shades of purple and black.

One of her shoulders had been dislocated, and the same arm held her broken wrist. That was going to take weeks of physical therapy to get back to the mobility she used to have.

Her body was battered to bits and pieces, it was a miracle she was even still alive. She had one broken rib and two others were cracked, Carlisle said she was very lucky that the broken rib hadn't punctured her lung, otherwise it could have been fatal. She had deep lacerations around her ankles and wrists, quite obviously from her struggling against the restraints I had found her in.

I coughed slightly, feeling a lump beginning to form in my throat at the thought of finding her in that state. I closed my eyes and leaned forward until my head rested against her arm. I breathed in deeply and tried to take in the warmth and the smell of my girl. I needed to stop thinking of her that way and stay strong for her, she needs me now more than ever.

I kept my eyes closed and tried to think back on a positive memory.

 _It was a warm summer evening, about a month ago. Bella and I were lounging in bed, having spent the entire day there but neither of us making any move to do anything more productive. We had a movie playing on my flat screen, but we hadn't paid it any attention; instead talking about absolutely everything and anything._

 _"Edward, you're wrong about a lot of things, but you are absolutely wrong about the fact that cats are better than dogs. Dogs are absolutely the superior species. They are so loyal and kind and ah! Can we please get one I want one so bad!" Bella grinned, smiling ear to ear._

 _"Come on, cats are so much less maintenance than dogs, you don't have to do anything except make sure they are fed and watered, they practically take care of themselves." She scoffed, "You know, I read an article the other day, and it tested that if an owner of a cat died, and an owner of a dog died, the cat would end up eating its owner's dead body where as the dog would literally starve to death and die by its owner's side. That is loyalty you can't find just anywhere."_

 _I looked over at here incredulously, "Bella, what the fuck kind of articles do you read?" I laughed loudly and she playfully glared at me, grabbing the pillow out from under my head and hitting me with it._

 _"Hey!" I grinned at her, grabbing her by the waist and flipping her over so she was under me and I was resting above her. She couldn't stop laughing I looked at her mischievously and reached down to tickle her sides. "Edward!" Bella screeched, she and I both knew that was her weak spot, she was one of the most ticklish people I knew. She couldn't get another word out between her gasps for breath and laughing so hard._

 _I stopped when I thought she couldn't take any more and admired the sight of her below me. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were sparkling "That's enough, I cant take it anymore." She said breathlessly, her chest heaving while she regained her breath. "I'm going to get you back for that you just wait." She smirked, quite amused with me._

 _She grabbed my neck and pulled me down to her, repositioning us both so this time she was on top and I was laying beneath her._

 _She bent down towards me and peppered my face with kisses, soft and quick. Pulling back, she smiled at me, "I love you."_

 _I reached up to the back of her neck, and gently pulled her head back towards my own, "I love you too." My eyes reflecting at her the love I felt for my better half. And with that I pulled her the rest of the way to my lips and showed her just how much I loved her._

I was woken from my reverie by a hand gently shaking my shoulder. "Edward, wake up." It was Alice. My eyes darted open and I looked towards my sister, but she wasn't looking at me, neither was anybody else. They all had their eyes focused in one direction: Bella's.

I slowly turned my head towards her, focusing my eyes on her closed ones. She had begun to stir; eyelids fluttering. Emmett silently left the room to go and grab Carlisle, but I barely noticed his departure. I was focused on one thing and one thing only.

"Bella, baby, can you hear me? It's me, it's Edward. You're safe now. Can you hear me love?" I kept my voice soft, my heart beating a mile a minute, but I was trying my best to stay calm and not let her hear the nervousness in my voice.

She coughed; it sounded painful.

Even though it had probably only been thirty seconds, it felt like forever before she finally began to open her eyes. She blinked a few times, wincing from the pain.

Her good eye scanned the room, until she found me.

"Edward," She choked out, her voice barely above a whisper. "What happened?"

And there we have it. Chapter 2. I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but I wanted to post a new one. The first chapter was very long, so expect the next few chapters to be around this length! Please let me know what you think and keep in mind, I am not a doctor, I just watch a lot of Grey's Anatomy and tried to do some research on my medical talk. I hope you guys enjoyed Chapter two, the next may be up within a week or so! 😊


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Like Ice

 _6 Days Ago_

EPOV

I woke up to the sun shining brightly through my windows. My body had its own alarm clock, and the minute the sun had risen, I did too. I rolled over to my nightstand and picked up my phone, unplugging it from its charging cord.

 _No new messages._

Bella hadn't replied to my message since last night after our phone call. She must have gone to sleep shortly after. I shot her a quick 'good morning' text, put my phone back down and sat up lazily, rubbing my eyes.

I felt tired; last night I didn't sleep very well, I couldn't stop tossing and turning. A nice hot shower might help to wake me up, I thought to myself.

I stood up and walked into the master bathroom, turning on the shower to a comfortable temperature. As I took in my own reflection in the mirror, I realized I needed to shave. Bella loved my beard when I let it grow for a few days, but it had been more than a few days. It can wait until later, I decided; I was impatient to see Bella.

I stepped into my walk-in shower and relaxed at the feel of the hot water running down my body. Some people prefer showering at night, but I was a morning person. It never failed to relax me and at the same time wake me up and get me ready for the day. It also gave me time to think and plan for the day ahead of me.

There wasn't anything exciting planned, I was just going to get ready, head over to Bella's and spend the day there. Probably make breakfast and go for a walk. We were both trying to be more active, but it wasn't easy in the small town of Forks. There was nothing at all to do here.

After wasting some more time in the shower enjoying the hot water, I finally turned off the tap and stepped out. I tried myself off and wrapped the towel around my waist. Noticing the mess on top of my hair, I tried to tame it a little, but there wasn't much I could do without gel. I sighed and left it, making a mental note to pick some up later.

I exited the bathroom and walked into my closet, picking out a pair of black cargo pants and a black t-shirt. Bella loved it when I wore all black, not that she had much choice in the matter because it was also my favorite color on myself. Grabbing my phone off my night stand I headed downstairs.

I walked into the kitchen and eyed my coffee pot, questioning if I had time or not. Realizing Bella still hadn't answered my message, I decided to wait until I got to her place, I could brew us both a pot. She must really be tired, it was almost 10 in the morning. She never slept in, it made her feel like she was wasting her day, even if we spent the entirety of it in bed.

I picked up my phone and decided to give her a call, see if she was up yet.

Holding the phone to my ear while looking for my car keys, I spotted them on the kitchen table.

I hung up my phone after four rings, clearly she wasn't up yet. Sliding it into the pocket of my pants, I heard it go off. Chuckling slightly to myself, I pulled it back out ready to read the message from Bella.

I was disappointed to see it was only from Emmett.

 _What are you up to?_

I quickly typed out a reply, _I'm on my way to Bella's, why what's up?_

Unlocking the door to my car, I slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. I hooked up my music to the Bluetooth stereo and started the short drive to Bella's house. I thought about bringing up moving in with each other again. It only seemed to make sense; we were always at each others house, rarely spending the night alone, with last night as one of the exceptions.

It's not that last time I brought it up she said no, it was just one of those subjects that needed to be brought up again so we could come up with a plan and do it. I knew we both wanted to, it was just a matter of acting on it. I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her, and I am 100% sure that she feels the same. The first step of building a future was, in my opinion, sharing a house together.

I had finally pulled onto Bella's street. I parked my car in front of her house and checked my phone again. No new texts from Bella, but one from Emmett. I decided his message could wait and I left my car, keys in hand.

The fact that both Bella and I had keys to each other's houses was just another reason to move in together, we had practically been sharing every part of our lives with each other as it was.

I waved to her neighbour who was out mowing the lawn. She was a sweet old woman named Betty and she adored both Bella and I. She was constantly keeping herself busy taking care of her lawn and garden; always outside weather permitting.

Walking up the steps to her house, I took out my key and put it in the lock, twisting it to the left. It didn't move. _Hmm, strange, why wouldn't she lock her door if she's asleep?_ I questioned it but shrugged it off, she must have really been tired.

I opened the door without any noise and stepped through the entrance. Something felt off; the air in the house was heavy.

"Hey babe," I called out, "You up?" I paused, waiting for a reply. "Bella?"

No response.

I looked to my right, there was a lamp on the floor. It was broken. My heart skipped a beat and I called again, a little louder. "Bella? Where are you?" I walked over to her bedroom, the door was shut.

I paused outside her door, pressing my ear against it, listening. Nothing.

Something felt wrong, something felt very wrong. I cautiously brought my hand to the knob on her door, resting it in my hand. My mind was screaming at me to open it, and I did.

Nothing could have possibly prepared me for what I was about to see.

There was my Bella, lying naked on her bed, restraints on all her limbs. My hand gripped the door knob so tightly my knuckles turned white and my legs gave out from under me, sending me crashing to the floor. There was blood all over her. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. I sat there on my knees clutching the door while nausea threatened to overcome me.

Her body was black and blue. There wasn't a single part of her that held the porcelain skin I had known to recognize and love. A sob racked my body and I screamed bloody murder.

"Bella! No! Oh my god someone help me!" I didn't recognize my own voice. I didn't even know the sound had come from me until it jolted me back to reality. I attempted to get back on my feet and run towards her, but my legs wouldn't work. I fell back to the ground and crawled over to her as fast as humanly possible.

I screamed for help again, praying to God someone would hear me and help me. I pulled myself up grabbing her nightstand, and I moved so fast I nearly fell on top of her. Tears were streaming down my face as I reached my hands toward her, cupping her cheeks softly. Her eyes were closed, she would almost have looked peaceful if she didn't look like she was dead.

I grabbed a small blanket from under her bed and covered her exposed body. The shock was starting to wear off and I was beginning to remember some of the basic medical training my dad had given me. I pressed my two fingers just below her jawline, desperately trying to find a pulse.

At the same moment, the neighbour Betty burst through the door. My bloodshot eyes shot towards her and her face froze at the sight in horror. "Call 911!" I screamed, when she didn't move from her spot my voice got louder. "Betty NOW! I can't find a pulse!" Her mouth was permanently stuck in a soft O shape and when she finally recovered, I threw my phone in her direction. She bolted and I could hear her in the other room talking with an operator.

My eyes went back to Bella's face, she had been beaten to a pulp. I could no longer keep my nausea at bay, and I threw up in the garbage bin beside her nightstand. Shaking on the floor my eyes darted to the knife in the corner of her room. I dry heaved again and grabbed it. I didn't have time to feel my emotions right now, she needed help. "Please Bella, don't be dead, you can't be dead!" I sobbed. "I need you to be alive do you understand me? You can't die on me!"

I stood above her and began cutting the restraints from her body. "Betty!" I yelled, my voice shaking. She ran back into the room, phone still at her ear. "She said the ambulance will be here in three minutes, is she breathing? Is there a pulse?" Betty questioned me. "I can't find a pulse, oh god, please hurry!"

I finished cutting off the restraints, but I didn't know what to do next. I was scared to move her, scared to touch her. I didn't want to risk injuring her further.

The sound of sirens brought my back to reality. "Betty! Go stand outside and flag them down! Hurry!" She rushed out of the room and I could hear her yelling outside. "Over here! Please help us we are over here!"

I grabbed one of Bella's hands, unable to do anything else except sit there and stare at her. She was almost unrecognizable. Almost. My heart felt like it was being crushed. It was getting hard to breathe. How could someone do this to her? How could someone do this to anyone? She was an angel, everybody adored her. She didn't have one bad bone in her body. She was everything anyone could ask for. She was all I ever wanted, and now I might lose her. I may have already lost her.

 _NO. You can't think like that, you need to be strong for her. She will live and she will get through this, she's a fighter and she's fighting to live, and you need to help her do it._

I jumped at the sound of footsteps running through the house. "Over here! Hurry!" A team of paramedics rushed through the door, stretcher in hand.

"I couldn't find a pulse, she can't be dead, please save her, you need to save her!"

"Out of the way sir, you need to move!" A paramedic gently grabbed me by the shoulders and my hand slipped from hers as I was pulled to the side. Her hand was so cold, no living person has hands that cold.

 _NO. Stop it!_

I brought my hands to my face as I watched them carefully place her limp body on the stretcher and run out of the room.

There was blood on my hands. Bella's blood. My stomach lurched again.

The paramedic who was comforting me started to lead me behind them. I couldn't think, couldn't move. I just let him lead me.

We made it outside and I was blinded by the bright light. Betty was standing off to the side talking with one of the officers. I barely noticed the crowd of curious neighbours forming around the house. When Betty noticed me, she rushed over to me. "Edward dear, are you okay?" She had tears in her eyes, but she was doing her best to keep herself composed.

"I need to be with Bella. I-" I walked away without finishing my sentence and watched them place Bella in the ambulance. "I need to be with her, I need to come. She's scared and I can't leave her alone. Please." One of the paramedics helped me up and I moved to the front of the vehicle, sitting near Bella's head.

My hand reached out and gently stroked her hair, it was matted with blood.

The door to the ambulance closed, and I felt us start moving. The paramedics got to work immediately. "There's a pulse, it's weak but it's there." I watched as an oxygen mask was placed over her face, and they began assessing her injuries. "Her wrist is broken, and there are obvious lacerations around her neck." A stethoscope was pressed to her chest.

"I can't hear a clear breath. There may be fluid in her lungs. I suspect pulmonary edema, but we will need a chest x-ray to confirm." The sound of a weak heartbeat suddenly filled the vehicle, and I let out a gasp of relief at the confirmation she was alive.

"Call the hospital and have Carlisle waiting. Tell them we have an aggravated assault and suspected rape victim with life-threatening injuries. They need to be ready with an OR the second we get there."

At the sound of Carlisle's name, I spoke up, "Her name is Bella Swan and I am her boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Carlisle is my dad. Tell him it's Bella, he needs to know it's Bella. He needs to save her…" My voice drifted off as I looked back towards her face.

The comforting sound of the beat of her heart paused, we all froze and looked towards the machine.

Her heart beat again, and then there was nothing.

"Oh God, Bella! No! Don't you dare die on me!" I called out to her, my heart racing.

"Her chest is distended, there's internal bleeding! She's going into cardiac arrest!" One of the paramedics started CPR, after a minute of no change, he called out, "Get the paddles!"

The other paramedic turned on the defibrillator machine, "Charge to 100! Clear! Clear I said!" Realizing he was talking to me I pulled my hand away from her head. He shocked her and we all stared at the screen, there was nothing.

"Again! Charge to 150! Clear!" He shocked her chest again and looked to the screen. "Dammit! Come on Bella don't do this. Don't you dare die on us!" The paramedic said to her.

I watched on in horror as Bella's heart beat never returned.

 _This can't be happening. This cannot be happening. Please Bella please come back to me. I can't live without you._

"Come on!" The paramedic shouted, "Bella don't give up! Charge to 200! Clear!" My eyes squeezed shut as they shocked her for a third time. The tears were pouring at this point. I was feeling like I was going to pass out or throw up, probably both.

 _Beep._

My eyes burst open to the machine that was reading her rhythm.

"She's back, we got her back son." The paramedic squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, but I barely felt it. All I could do was stare at the screen and pray to whatever God was out there that her heart would never stop beating again.


End file.
